I feel good :)

Exams overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
Now's the time to do all the things I've been wantin to do... and now I don't feel like doing them,lol..all i wanna do right now is just have loads of fun :)

Saw Bluffmaster today, good movie( as if I can find any movie bad ;)) lol, the end made the movie interesting, otherwise it wouldn't hv been so nice. I wish I could reveal it here,hehe.. nah I do not like it when someone spoils a movie fr me so I'm not going to do it too!!I remember, I'd been waiting to see sixth sense and before I could, I got to know that Mr. Bruce Willis is the ghost, n i didn't see the movie after that!! I mean saw it after 2-3 years..

I liked something in the movie.Made me think too.. How many special moments, special days have you had in your life?In so many years of your existence, how many days and times do you remember that were beautiful, special?Your first day at school( does anyone really remember that?i dont!), first friend, the good times you had, the fun and games, the fights, the first time you saw your little sister/brother, growing up together, getting together with cousins, festivals, the time when you got a bucket of water poured over your head on holi, trips out of town with the family, the people you met, the friends you made..the first crush,first love, giggling and sharin it with friends..your first victory, in a game, competition, the first time you got a computer..lol..and many many more :)
Collect as many such moments as you can in this small lifetime :)

Can't stop singing and listenin to the Abhishek Bachchan (is that how its spelt?) rap song since then!!I jus love the beat of tht song..feel like dancin to it right here right now ;)

I feel good today :) feel good right now !! :)

Jus noticed something, why do guys put up these cute baby pics in their profiles? Do they really find these babies..'oh so cute' or is it something else? hmmmmmmmm ;)
Edited to add : This was quite irrelevant, jus some silly thought which came into my head, ignore it ;) I hv no problem with people putting such pics, after all even i dont hv my own pic up here !! :)

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!
and have a great year ahead! :)

i hope everyone of u has a great time !

I remember when i was a kid, I'd once got together with a friend,made a small santa with a sack and filled it with toffees and then had gone around in school giving away the christmas gifts :) ah..the innocence of childhood!

PS. Nice pic na?I love the snow..Havent ever seen snowfall and i sooooooooo want to!!I wish i was there inside the pic somewhere!lol.
Thanks to Pawan fr the pic :)

Friends

Friends for a lifetime.

There are some people who are your friends for life. They'll be with you forever, in good times, bad times.. and you noe that they care..You go out of touch, n then you meet them , talk to them and it's still the same... both of you feel the same way, can talk about anything just like you used to, can share your lives..

and then there are some whom you meet in life and then one of you moves on.. You have great times together.. but then you just move on.. and the other one gets left behind..

There are so few people who actually make an effort, to maintain friendships. It's not so tough to make friends, but very tough to keep them. You may still talk or be in touch, but it doesn't mean you are still friends.. you do a 'how are you, i'm fine, what's up..what's new'.. and then you have nothing more to say.It's not just the time or the distance.. you may meet some friends after months but still feel the same for them..

I wonder how many people whom we call our friends are really 'friends'.
and then there are some with whom you have a great time, but share nothing of your feelings.. they're there just to have fun.. they're a part of your life nevertheless but they're not someone you get emotional with... so that when they move on there's less pain..

It hurts, it really hurts when friends don't stay friends.. people change, move on, get on with their lives.. and you feel hurt, used... why can't you just move on as easily..

There have been times when I've met people, whom I considered friends... doing a course, or something else..I considered them good friends and then the course finished and they just moved on... we used to talk often, and now sometimes it's months before we talk...sometimes i feel maybe i should put in more effort rather than blame them for it too... i mean is it really anyone's fault? maybe they expect me to call them n i expect them to call me...

I don't think it's deliberate most of the times.It's just that people get busy, a new job, a new place, school ends, college ends.. u don't meet that often any more, could be a number of reasons. Infact it's probably happened even the other way round. You have forgotten some of your friends who probably still miss you...

My oldest friend is one I've known since I was 4. I'm quite proud of it actually :) Yes, we don't talk or meet that often but I still feel like i have a friend in her. I like talkin to her, still want to talk to her...probably not the closest of friends but well what I like about this friendship is that we both make an effort to maintain the friendship. I've never felt that she doesn't...and i hope she feels the same about me...

and then there are some.. my 'best friend' all through school years, well we're still in touch.. but are we still friends? I can probably count on my fingers the number of times we've met since school finished.. and infact it was almost like we both just moved on as soon as we moved out of school...

Thankyou God for all the people who are really my friends, I hope they stay so for life..Thankyou for all those who care, who make an effort..who are special to me! Those who are far and yet don't seem so far..

A very emotional post... I'm just very emotionally drained right now...

T.V. Travails and lots more

I can't just seem to take my hands off my blog these days :D
Inspite of the fact that my keyboard has become a pain in the neck and i have to stomp the keys hard to type! Gonna get a new one soon but for the time being I tried opening it up but the screws are just too tight n I gave up..

I saw T.V. for 4 hours nonstop yesterday, well that may not sound much but it's a record of sorts for me in recent times. I've been totally off T.V. and I do not watch it for more than half an hour to an hour everyday.. that too while having lunch or dinner. The major reason being that I do not, correction did not, get Star World, Channel V, Star movies, HBO, Zee Cafe, any other music channel except MTV.. and i stopped watching saasbahu sagas years back. And guess wat, just today my cableguy came and fixed out wiring and now I get all of the above and more...yipeeeeeeeee!I can finally start watching T.V. again! Anyways getting back to yesterday, well yesterday I just decided to cuddle up in a rajai in front of the TV on my bed, armed with a remote in my hand and finally switched off the lights when it was around 3. (On a side note I must start sleeping earliar,wat'll I do once college starts again! I don't know where the sleeping monster in me has disappeared, I could sleep for 10 hours earliar, these days I only sleep for 7-8 :D:D )

Started off watchin the Immies, I like Ronan Keating, yeah yeah i do!I love his song which I've even posted on my blog once..'When you say nothing at all' , don't noe too many other than this.. but well.. he was there, then there was Jal(another awesome band from Pakistan,some really good songs they've got).. Bipasha Basu looking very scary, Saif Ali Khan with his cool dude look.. the guy's bcom a lot better than what he used to look though...then i saw some serial on a mafia family, a crime squad serial, and then a funny jasoos serial on some channel. I also saw this hindi version of Big Fight, dunno wat its called on Ndtv.. was good fun to watch really. There was this very loud aunty from BJP who was just going on and on how we shouldn't talk about sex, how we should stop the youth from indulging in premarital sex and so on.. (the talk show was about this statement the actress khusboo had made, and the furore it had created. Get some insight on it here, in case ur unaware of it) and i just so loved the way Pooja bhatt, who was the other speaker put her down and made her statements look so obviously hypocritical! whatever may happen, ur not supposed to talk abt it, and if someone dares to.. make a big hoohalla abt it .. don't people have anything better to do..

I don't know why I'm even writing all of this here.. must be one of my most absurd posts.. I'm just too vella so I'm spamming my blog..lol

Heard the song 'Hotel California' on the radio while I was driving abhi, probably one of the earliest English songs I'd heard.. felt nice listening to it.. I was trying to remember and I think the first English song I heard was either We don't need no education..Pink Floyd, of Nothing's gonna change my love for u.. Glenn Medieros.. I remember we don't need no .. because me and my friends had ganged up and prepared a dance 'item' ;) for our audience which was basically our parents :) on this song when i was probably in the 4rth or 5th std.. had loads of fun then..
I still remember most of Nothing's gonna.. used to love it, used to hear it over and over again on my walkman.. If I had to live my life without you near me..the days would all be empty, the nights would seem so long...

snap out of it girl :)

And I have to add this to the post :
2 articles in the Times of India today somewhat related to the last 2 posts of mine..strange coincidence..

One was related to fears, written by Sonya Green(no idea who she is) in a column called Mindset worth reading, an extract :

" Consciously or unconsciously, indulging in fearful thoughts and emotions will also align us with similar energies. Repetitious fear creates a negative belief system. It then attracts that type of behaviour and those compatible energies. Consider this, if you went back over your life and took an inventory of every worry and fear you ever had, and then tossed out every monkey, dog and witch, then, how many fears would be left?
And if you dissected all the real fears, and noted the outcomes, how many were as bad as you imagined at the time?
If you listed the really bad outcomes; the things which almost destroyed you and or dramatically changed you, then you might also wonder what of these events shaped the person you are today. The big question here of course, is that, if everything that went before made you and who you are today, then how many regrets will you carry?
You might find as much as eighty per cent of your life has been wasted on imagined dangers, and if this is so, then, imagine this, what if you had that eighty percent back again?
What would you be capable of creating, being, experiencing or feeling if you used your useless worry and imagined fear energies, in creating and choosing thoughts, emotions and actions, what could life be? "

Found it so nice.. I had to put it here..

The other was about friends and lovers.. too big to put up n i can't even find a link so go read it urself :D
vaise bhi this post has become too long and i doubt if anyone's still reading..lol.
Can u believe it i can still go on.. there are more things comin to my head but i'll leave abhi!
tada..

Three in one!

Posting frequency is directly proportional to the number of exams going on :)
Well I'm kinda free now for a few days.. next exam on 27th.. am getting bored though.. nothing much to do right now!

This post is a collection of disconnected thoughts..

I was studying something called Feminist Jurisprudence this semester, which is simply put, looking at law from a woman's point of view. We were doing different approaches to it.. very interesting it was actually. One day we came to a point where there seemingly arose a conflict. The question was what do feminists want? Do they want equality? If they do, then how can they justify special provisions and reservations? Because if u accept that, wudn't you accept the fact that you are not equal. This is something which I haven't been able to find an answer to. Then my professor, (whom I greatly admire by the way because she really talks a lot of sense and is very well read and an immense source of knowledge) said, well the fact is that you can't live with idealistic notions of feminism. You might proclaim that women are equal to men, yes they are, but the fact is that you also have to take into account practical realities. From time immemorial, women have not been given equal status, and just by proclaiming equality, things will not change. You need some positive action to undo what has been done.. Women have been denied so many things .. they didn't have voting right in countries like U.K. till the last century if i'm not wrong.. and many women do not have it even today. There are countries in this world where women cannot work where they want to , or do what they want to... The fact is that society has never treated women equally, and that is why you need affirmative action.. to set it right..

Another interesting thing I studied in Jurisprudence was the concept of rights and what makes them so special. One of the most important feature of rights which makes them indispensable is that they are anti-paternalistic in nature. Which basically means that for example: if u owe me some money, I have a right to it, then u have to give it to me. Even if you know that I will go spend it on drinking and harm myself and waste it all away. Yet, you cannot decide for me.. it is my right and you are under an obligation to fulfil it, no matter what consequences it leads to for me.. Dunno what made me link this with smoking...Seeing this in the light of bans on smoking.. not just in public places, but also on showing people smoke in movies.. well public place bans can be justified cause they don't just harm you, they also affect others... but should the government really ban smoking in films? I have no love lost for smoking or smokers.. I really can't stand cigarette smoke, it suffocates me.. but shudn't everyone have a right to decide whether they want to smoke or not..

Going totally off topic now, a question.. whom would u rather spend your life with.. your best friend, though u don't love him/her, but he/she does.. or a stranger?

PS. I think i need a disclaimer here.. this question just came into my head.. n i wanted to noe what everyone would do in such a situation.. thats all :) I'm just curious..

Fear

The fear of losing something, someone.. the fear of being alone.. the fear of being betrayed.. the fear of being mocked at.. the fear of things not going the way you want them to..the fear of failing... we all face them sometime or the other in life..what do u do? stop caring? stop worrying about consequences ? what is the way out?

What kind of an existence is this.. grappling with fears all your life.. when would all these give way to peace..peace of mind and thought..

The object of my desire

Was
The Zen Micro


and now is


The Zen Microphoto



though I love this too!
The Zen Vision :M

Yes! I really want this mp3 player!

From all my research on mp3 players I've discovered that people who are not ignorant of mp3 players usually fall into two categories.
1. The Apple lovers : who fail to see anything beyond the iPod. They'll just bash up anything which is not an ipod. I was in love with the ipod too, till the time i thought that was the only option i had. But now i want more.. there's so much that Apple goes not give. I want FM, voice recording, a removable hard drive, removable batteries,more space for less money, funky colors.. n of course photo and video support wud b cool!
2. The Apple dislikers : For some reason or the other these people just don't like apple. Of course they have reasons, cud b a bad experiance, or a feeling that it's just not worth it, or maybe just a tendency to move away from the crowd. They usually brand themselves as techies, and think people need to look beyond the iPod.

So it's either love it or hate it... :)

Me, well I don't fit into any of the categories. As i said, there was a time when i wanted the iPod, but now i want more :) and I'm really waitin for this one.. which will hopefully b with me when my friend comes from the US ! Soooooooooooooon :D

It just so happens that when i really want something I just go on and on with it to the extent of becoming obsessed with it..lol.. my friends have had to suffer my mp3 player talk till now and now I'm carrying it over to the blog :D

I don't know why I want it so much.. but I just want it!

Double trouble

Moi again

Yep, its an identical twin;) A number of reasons why I had to do this.
1. Too many complaints about msn.
2. I read recently on someone's space that msn had deleted their space by 'mistake'. So I'd rather have a backup.
3. Msn doesn't let me customize at all and that's something I've been wanting to do for a long time and I'm gonna do it here.

Well my msn space will of course always be my blog :)I'm just gonna post at both places now. So now anyone who has a problem with msn has a choice !! :)
I've been fiddling with stuff all evening.. tryin to setup things there, adding loads of stuff, tweaking things.. all this when I should be studying :D still puttin it all together.. but i like wat i c ! :)

Sounds silly, having two identical blogs.... but never mind ;)

Death

It scares me. Yes it does, because I don't know when, how, suddenly it's going to take me away from everything. I don't like talking about it too..but these thoughts are just not going away from my head..

It makes you realize how valuable life is,and how it's meant to be lived thoroughly..
It also makes you realize how temporary things are, and how life moves on..
I had gone to a friend's place the other day, whose younger brother died in an accident.His family was going through a terrible time. I lost my granpa a few months back.. after having seen death of someone so close i could understand their suffering, which was probably worse.. yet life will move on... you will eat..sleep, talk... go to work.. Life will never be the same.. but it'll gradually move back on path.. You may miss that person all your life.. yet you are helpless..you have to live on..I still miss my granpa.. something just suddenly reminds me of him.. the things he used to do..When i was a kid he was the one who used to make me sit and read newspapers.. I used to get a spank on my head everytime my hand went in my mouth to chew nails.. he used to scold mom whenever she scolded us ..taught us to say goodmorning and goodnight to everyone at home everyday.. there r so many memories which just keeping coming out..I am what I am because I've had such wonderful people around me..

I saw two small kids there, barely 2-3 years old.. playing, running around.. totally oblivious of what had happened and what was going on around them. How i wish i was like them, innocent.. with no understandin of hurt, pain..

Quick Update

Moi having my egg-jams right now..had one yesterday, now got to start studyin fr the next one but i jus don't feel like it!!

will b back soon :)