I feel old..lol

 Just randomly came here and scrolled down right to my first post ever which was in 2005! Gosh, 16 years ago! How did all these years go by so quickly. 

I miss writing, sharing my thoughts so freely like I used to. There days there is hardly any time to read, write or ponder. Work, getting school work done for my son and just doing stuff around the house takes up all the time. I wonder how it will be like to get back to 'normal' life as it used to be before this pandemic hit us. Will it ever be the same I wonder. 

So much has happened in the last year and yet it almost feels like nothing has happened. We are just stuck where we were. There are days when it feels like it will never end, where I feel life is just passing by me. And then there are days that the sun finally comes out and makes it all better.. 

Happy endings..

Im a sucker for happy endings. If it's not happy, it's not the ending.. How i wish it was true. Life doesnt always give you one. So i look for them everywhere else. No wonder I don't even like movies which don't have one.. 

Random

Went to the most boring birthday party ever yesterday ! No one knew others at the party, the host had no clue about what to do.. Didn't have the sense to introduce people to each other... I don't know maybe they were just shy people but then it is your party ! 

It was a kids party but there was nothing to do for the kids.. I'm not usually this critical you know.. :-)

Late!

I am always late. For everything. Events, parties, dropping aarav at school, play dates.. You get it. I think other than work, I am late in anything to do with personal life. And I think I even know why. It is simply because 1. I am not an early riser 2. I sleep late but can't do with less sleep 3. I always underestimate the amount of time it would take me to finish tasks at hand and reach. And I'm now worried I'm pulling aarav into this bad habit. Rushing him to play school in the morning.. Why shouldn't he walk down the stairs leisurely or jump if he wants to. I need to give him that 5 minutes right.. Really need to sort this habit for his sake..

There was a time a few years ago when I had blogged about a ban. Government ban on blogging websites. And today another kind of ban has been imposed. A ban on porn websites in India.

Frankly, Im not sure how I want to react this time. A ban is a ban. Violation of freedom of speech and expression. Blah Blah.

Really? Freedom of speech for porn? Actually, I was pretty non chalant about it till I read some articles about the impact of porn on people and especially young kids. You have to watch this one to understand -

Why I stopped watching porn | Ran Gavrieli | TEDxJaffa

With the ease of availability of every damn thing on the internet, is it actually possible to stop kids from viewing something like this? I don't think even with banning some websites, it will be possible. Cause several others will mushroom. It's a billion dollar industry, they will find ways and means to reach their audience.

Anyway my point here is not on the effectiveness of porn, but on simply the fact that I dont think you can consider it like any other ban on freedom of speech. Where is the speech and expression here? Porn is nothing more than objectification, humiliation, aggression against women. You have child pornography which is completely unlawful.

Does anyone happily and willing become a porn star so that they can showcase their acting skills? More often than not, it would be a situation of a forced or desperate means to earn a living. So what is wrong in imposing a ban which may affect an industry which is only exploitative?

Some very scattered thoughts here I know.. 

I have a long long to-do list and all I want to do right now is sleep.Sigh.

Mother in laws

So, the subject of today's discussion is going be.. ahem.. MILs. Are they really like those EK serial type women? Well to be honest I always though those were so delusional and unreal but listening to some friends of mine and their stories.. phew.. I have changed my mind and I really thank my stars that I have been lucky to have a really nice mother in law. Although I don't think I am the best daughter in law around..

Listening to some crazy stories of mental harrassment, I wonder what makes us independent women still not willing to speak out, to go against what is wrong. And what makes these Indian men (maybe not all, but really so many of them) act like their parents can do/say no wrong. Will this ever change? 

10 years..

I went to the first post made on this blog in 2005 and started reading. It felt so nice to read and relive those days.. those carefree days.. and my posts reflected those times.. Im so glad I used to write. I wish I could (would?) do that even now. It's like archiving a part of your world virtually so that you can get back to it whenever you can..

10 years it has been.. how easily I used to write back then. How much I had to say on different things, about myself, about the world... Now all that time goes in liking photos and posts on facebook..

I'm making no promises but I do feel inspired to write again..

Testing

Let's see if I can blog from my phone :)

Sent from my iPhone

Arre where did the photu on top disappear to!!

Sorry for the inconvenience

"..Sorry for the inconvenience Ms. Neha.. but ..
Sorry for the inconvenience... but please..
Sorry for the inconvenience..
thankyou
Sorry for the inconvenience
Bbye
Sorry for the inconvenience.."

I called up my mobile service provider's customer care for some problem.. and all I could hear in a span of 2 minutes was 'sorry for the inconvenience' atleast 15 times..lol.. looks like thats the only thing they learnt in training.. and if his saying 'sorry for the inconvenience' before every sentence wasnt so funny I would've been really bugged.. instead of trying to stop myself from laughing coz they had no idea of what to do with my inconvenience :)

horrible horrible IVR menus they have.. took me 5 min just to reach the customer care guy.. and just then the network decided to give up on me.. so i had to spend another 10 min before I could reach a human voice again..

10 years since I left school! wow.. that seems like a long time.. I suddenly feel so old :-| I wanna go back to being a kid and having all the fun that i didnt have.. Kids these days have so much more freedom.. they have so much more knowledge and awareness and they're so much more street smart.. it may be good in a way.. but they will never have that innocence.. I think our generation was the last to be the ignorant innocent generation.. internet shall ensure that the future generations are all smart and enlightened :)

_________

I saw kaminey on the weekend. Loved it. I love the songs of the movie.. they have ben playing on my car stereo non stop for the past 2 weeks atleast.

_________

Yesterday a traffic policeman caught 2 bikers jumping a red light, stopped them in the middle of the road. When they tried to run off, he took the bike keys and went aside..lol.. thats the only way people here can learn some rules i think.

Feeling Nostalgic :)

Suddenly feeling a little low today.. going down the memory lane.. looking at old pictures.. and i see people who are not there anymore.. they were just here sometime back.. where did they suddenly go.. it all seems like just yesterday.. yet its so far back in time..

"Aaja ki one way hai yeh zindagi ki ghadi ek hi chance hai.."

"Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die..."

Two lines that are stuck in my head ever since i listened to these songs in the evening..

Desire

If you really want something, dont just dream about it.. have the courage to follow it..
is it possible though that you may want something.. yet be happy without wanting to have it, to possess it?

_____

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Khalil Gibran on love
Found it here.. http://tyros.leb.net/gibran/

Life is a funny game. Most of the times you dont know what you want. Then you finally figure out something to get.. You get it, and then you dont want it anymore.. you move on to wanting something else.. chasing dreams..always.. never being satisfied with what you have.

__________

The best way to avoid thinking is to stay busy.

linger

you know i'm such a fool for you..
you got me wrapped around your finger..
do you have to let it linger.. do you have to, do you have to let it linger..

ring ring ringa

the song's too catchy.been goin on in my head since morning!

ring ring ringa ring ring ringa ring ring ringa ringa ring

the movie is quite awesome too. the kids are brilliant I think..

______

since morning I have got two emails offering me share in some million dollars by putting in a little contribution. one's supposed to be from iraq and the other from god knows where.. my lucky day eh ?

Is it me who's stupid or are people really that tough to figure out?
---

Why!

Why! Is there ever going to be any answer?
Such madness.. what drives these people to do all this? What goes on in their head?I can never understand..It surely cant be religion.. when ur firing indiscriminately at hundreds of people, the bullet is not going to differentiate on the basis of religion..

And why are we so helpless? every time. each and every time. We can only react. We pull up our socks for a few days and then it all fades out of memory.. and we're back..

what about our intelligence agencies? why have we become such a vulnerable state?

The U.S. had 9/11... and they've never had anything after that. Yet, we watch helplessly as time and again people are killed, buildings destroyed, cities are brought to a halt..

I cant even imagine what the people inside those hotels would be going through.. noone deserves to go through something like that. We're all going to die one day.. but to die in this manner? No.. This is not how its meant to be...

Its just not the way its supposed to be.. not like this..

and this..

I' Ll Be All Right, I' Ll Be All Right
Tu Hai To Tedhi Medhi Rahein, Ulti Pulti Baatein Seedhi Lagti Hai
Tu Hai To Jhoothe Muthe Vaadein, Dushman Ke Iraade Sacche Lagtein Hain
Jo Dil Mein Taare Vaare De Jaga, Woh Tu Hi Hai, Tu Hi Hai
Jo Roote Roote De Hasa Tu Hi Hai Wohi
Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai, Tu Hai To I' Ll Be All Right - (2)

Saari Duniya Ek Taraf Hai, Ek Taraf Hai Hum
Har Khushi To Door Bhage, Mil Rahein Hai Gum
But When U Smile For Me, World Seems All Right
Yeh Meri Zindagi Pal Mein Khil Jaaye, Jaane Kyun
Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai, Tu Hai To I' Ll Be All Right - (2)

Yeah Yeah Yeah I' Ll Be All Right, I' Ll Be All Right....

Chhote Chhote Kuch Palon Ka Dostana Yeah
Jaane Kyun Abb Lag Raha Hai Jaana Maana Yeah
Cos When Smile For Me, World Seems All Right
Yeah Saare Pal Yehi Yuhi Tham Se Jaaye, Jaane Kyun
Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai Tu Hai To I' Ll Be All Right - (2)
Tu Hai To Tedhi Medhi Rahein, Ulti Pulti Baatein Seedhi Lagti Hai
Tu Hai To Jhoothe Muthe Vaadein, Dushman Ke Iraade Sacche Lagtein Hain
Jo Dil Mein Taare Vaare De Jaga Woh Tu Hi Hai, Tu Hi Hai
Jo Rote Rote De Hasa Tu Hi Hai Wohi
Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai, Tu Hai To I' Ll Be All Right - (2)

- Dostana